Self-Love in Libra-Time

In astrology, the planets represent human archetypes or instincts. We all have the same instincts as we all have each known planet in our chart. How the planets in an individual chart relate to one another is an indicator of how our energies work together: in some ways easy and effortless and in other areas of life, with more challenge or tension.

It was the New Moon in Libra on October 16th and during the time of Libra, Venus rules: in other words, Venus energy, the instinct to love and to create harmonious circumstances, is more available to everyone.

Venus is the archetype of love: firstly how we love ourselves and then (as a result), the quality of the love we give and receive from others. Venus can cause us to become fixated on the outer world of relationships, often seeing them as the source of our happiness or misery. However, Venus energy begins inside us and our relationships only provide a mirror for how we feel about ourselves.

How we experience Venus tells us something of the quality of our relationship with our own Inner Child, the creative, sometimes playful and often stubborn powerhouse that can fulfil or deny us our ability to experience Love.

The way we think of ourselves is exactly what we get back from the world!

Most of the time we have no notion of how we feel about or what we say to ourselves – self-talk is like having the radio on but turned down – it’s playing all the time but we can’t hear it. Whatever the messages in the background are, they’re still playing the ‘programme’ whether or not we can hear them.

In the individual birth chart, the placement of Venus according to the sign, house and aspects she makes to other planets (or archetypal energies), shows how, what and who we love, our values and how we want to feel validated.

The ‘how’ of love is described by the zodiac sign Venus is in.

For instance Venus in Gemini loves to talk and communicate. More than anything, we value someone to talk to, exchange ideas and plan with.

In the sign of Leo, Venus is visual and theatrical: there is a love of performing and performance and love is experienced and felt when we receive a gift or are given praise or validation from our ‘audience’.

Venus in Pisces loves the subtle, the ideal or the romantic whereas in Aries, the instinct to love is passionate, dynamic and obvious.

In Taurus Venus instincts are physical, sensual and artistic; in Cancer Venus loves the home and family above all else. In Virgo Venus loves daily work and routine, organisation and propriety.

Venus in Libra loves harmony and avoids conflict whereas in Scorpio she is intense and drives to obtain power and influence.

Venus in Sagittarius is playful loves to travel and is instinctively broadminded. In Capricorn she is worldly, loves to build empires and wealth. Aquarian Venus is quirky, individualistic and wants to be seen to be so.

Venus exposes all our seemingly banal inner loves in this way and won’t go away, so eventually has to be heard and accepted. If you want to like fine dining but find yourself yearning for Smash and a meat pie, there’s no use pretending you’re Nigel Slater when you’re really a Hairy Biker. Everything from our taste in music and art to the way, the where and with whom we like to spend our time and money is described by Venus. Whether or not we are generous in giving ourselves simple pleasure or hold back with feelings of guilt and unworthiness is an outer expression of how we validate the inner child.

In coaching, many of the issues that block progress stem from self-disapproval. Values cannot be lived where is no self-acceptance – acceptance of who we are not, as much as who we are.

Venus helps us be true to ourselves and to connect to the Heart, the essential Self, represented by the Sun. Venus (our Love-Nature) connects us to our Soul.

One of the easiest ways to connect into your Venus instinct is to use the ancient Hawaiian healing mantra of ‘I’m sorry, please forgive me, (I forgive you, I forgive myself), I love you (I love myself), thank you’.

Say this mentally whenever something in a relationship or a situation brings up an emotional ‘charge’,  to clean and release old messages that stop us from valuing ourselves.

In ’Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It’, author Kamal Ravikant had ‘reached a breaking point’ through a series of misfortunes and personal losses. In desperation, he decided the simplest thing he could do for himself was to repeat the words ‘I love myself’ incessantly: In the shower, in bed before sleep and on waking, online, at work, wherever and whatever he was doing. He says:

‘In less than a month, I was healthy, I was fit again, I was naturally happy, I was smiling. Amazing people were coming into my life, situations were naturally resolving themselves.’ ‘In all honesty, in the beginning, I didn’t believe that I loved myself. How many of us do? But it didn’t matter what I believed. All that mattered was that I was doing it. And I did it the simplest way I could by focussing on one thought again and again’.

It seems there is a transformational vibration in the words ‘I love you.’ Dr Masaru Emoto’s famous and beautiful images of his experiments with frozen water crystals, seen in his series of books, show the transformations that occur when water is exposed to words of love (and hate.) Water holds vibration for good or bad. As we are composed mainly of water, why would it not be logical for us too to self-heal and grow into self-love with the words I love you?


1.If you’d like to find out your own astrological Venus sign, you can find out at, click on ‘planets and points’ in the menu, then click on ‘Don’t know your Venus sign?’ at the bottom of the page. is also an excellent resource for lots of free information about astrology.

2.’The Hidden Messages of Water’, ‘Love Thyself’, both by Masaru Emoto

3 .’Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It’, Kamal Ravikant

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