As a child I was taught never to go to sleep on an argument and to say my prayers every night. But I didn’t always stick to that because I didn’t know why I needed to do it or the wisdom behind it.
Now I get it!– we are meant to use our free will in part to self-correct. Keeping a check on our thoughts and actions so we can notice any stuck emotions that need to be released, is nature’s way of keeping us happy and our energy flowing freely.
Healing is meant to be simple. It is an inbuilt safety feature in nature and is just an acknowledgment of the emotions, thoughts and feelings that may have got ‘stuck’ in our energy system at the time they happened. (Not all stuck emotions are negative – we can get stuck on memories of joy, bliss or excitement just the same).
Expressing or even simply noticing (consciously admitting) the words or emotions of a memory fully, acknowledges it and allows us to let go of something we have held onto and that may be stopping us from moving forward in ways we would want.
Letting go allows us to forgive – this is the Healing, because it reunites us with something we have rejected, disowned or overly-identified within ourselves and makes us whole again.
Forgiveness is not about letting anyone off the hook, it’s about deciding or choosing to let go of the energy of something – usually something difficult. Then it can’t ‘pull’ on you emotionally anymore.
Forgiveness is admitting all the feelings around something, good or bad, ugly or beautiful that may have caused us to get stuck. These feelings don’t belong to the person or situation that seems to have ‘caused it’, but to ourselves.
That doesn’t mean they didn’t have a part in it, just that only we can decide whether or not to allow that energy to stay around us. Talking to a trusted friend, a therapist, a priest, the wall or your dog can help you heal as long as you are totally honest about all the emotions that are stuck and allow them to dislodge and move freely again.
I read somewhere that breathing in and out is (usually) effortless, as is eating, digesting and eliminating food and water, yet our experiences, (only another form of ‘intake’ or food) often leave us with emotional indigestion.
It seems that only humans with their ‘free will’ suffer from this. If an animal has a fight or an accident, it doesn’t sit and feel sorry for itself, plot revenge or waste too much time feeling pleased with itself, but instead literally stands up and shakes off the energy of the incident and moves on.
Sometimes it can seem impossible to forgive or let go, sometimes it can seem wrong if someone we love, including our self, was hurt. Holding onto the pain of difficult words or actions can keep the energy of an old incident alive and real, helping us hold up the banner of our hurt and letting it become our ‘story’, a part of our self-image and so we little by little we turn into statues, defining ourselves by the emotions of the past.
If forgiveness seems too hard, or if it’s ourselves we need to forgive (and we are usually harder on ourselves than anyone else would be) but you want to let go of feeling guilty, angry, hurt or generally bad, just having the willingness to forgive even if we don’t know how it can happen, is often enough to allow a softening of the jagged, emotionally charged energy of old feelings, freeing us to life in the now.