Inner Child


When we’re stuck with a feeling that seems to stop us from moving forward, we can know it as an emotional block, a negative feeling, or whatever, and we can take steps to move it out of the way as though it’s something outside of us, like a fallen tree in the road. A job to be done, a problem to be solved, that seems not to belong to us. 

This can work, but it might pay to understand those feelings as emanating from and expressing a part of ourselves that has a ‘personality’ of its own.

 These emotions can seem separate, distant, somehow physiologically removed from who we are now and all the more disconcerting for it. 

But they are the ‘voice’ of a vibrant and living part of us that has the power to help us succeed or stop us in our tracks.

As a coach, working with healing methods has opened up an amazing world of possbilities beyond more conventional coaching tools. I work with Theta Healing in particular as it’s the fastest way I know to clear the emotional blocks that stop us from moving towards goals.

I worried that clients wouldn’t be happy with the terminology and sometimes strange ‘offside’ approach of healing techniques, but they turned out only to be my worries: people are all too happy to work with what produces the fastest positive results.

I also found it difficult at first to understand the ‘geography’ of consciousness and for a while, avoided using healing techniques as I had become unclear about ‘where’ I was… was I working with the subconscious or the Higher Self at this moment…… and did it matter as far as getting the best result was concerned?

I needed to know more about how energy flows (bear with me because I’m not an expert on energy healing and this will be familiar to anyone who does) so as to be working with people in the most effective way.

After a lot of searching, reading and studying lots of techniques and theories, I found the answers I needed via a friend who lent me some books on an ancient psycho-spiritual system called Huna. 

Huna teaches that we have a  threefold of spirits –  lower,middle and higher, – which correspond to the subconscious, conscious and superconscious minds (or Higher Self).

When  these three minds or Selves are integrated, we are whole and act congruently. When we have emotional upsets, our conscious and subconscious minds are not working together and by correspondence, neither can we hear the voice of our Higher Self. 

It feels true that when we are upset we can’t get inspired either – a double whammy: but sorting one out automatically helps the other to start flowing again too.  

Incidentally, this is a model that works on many levels and strands of it can be found in all the major religions and indiginous cultures.

The conscious and superconscious mind are subjects for future blogs, but for now, as so many people are working more consciously with their Inner Child, the subconscious of the Hunas is worth exploring, as its characteristics resonate with those of the Inner Child.

The Subconscious Mind.

The way our energy flows is (roughly speaking) that our subconscious mind remembers and stores everything that has happened to us, either in our physical body from our experiences (in this lifetime), or in our DNA from genetic and ancestral memories (past lifetimes). 

It is hugely powerful and quite simple, having no deductive intelligence (can’t work things out), it  just carries out orders – the orders of the conscious mind – our thoughts.

So it’s a small step to understanding that the ‘orders’ need to be supportive of our forward motion (goals), or we can only keep repeating what we have done before.

The subconscious is simple and child-like: it wants to please. And yet so often, having brought us exactly what we asked for, it ends up being berated, criticised or put down by its parent (our conscious mind having negative thoughts when things don’t go how we want them to!)  

Not surprisingly, in areas of our lives where we have experienced difficulties, this ‘child’ who gets it in the neck when we are annoyed or upset with our Selves may now have become non-cooperative, stubbornly silent, mischievously naughty, fearful or lacking trust in us.

In this problem area of life,we continue to experience difficulty because the thoughts we have (the orders we give) are criticisms of our Selves.

Thinking of your own childhood and the ways in which you can remember you needed but could not get something from a parent, you may find ways in which you neglect or criticise your own small Self now.

It’s only by ‘working with’ this child-like part that we can heal and acknowledge whatever stuck feelings may be stopping us from moving forward. No healing can take place, no real change can take place, without permission and trust from the Child. No amount of cajoling, reasoning or ‘taking it by surprise’ from our adult self, our conscious mind, can shift it from its stubborn and defiant point of view until a proper relationship has been begun.

And how do we begin to relate to this part of ourselves? How do we communicate, make ourselves heard and how do we hear his/her messages to us? This is a personal experience but there are threads common to everyone:

  • The subconscious receives ‘orders’ through your feelings – no amount of affirmation or ‘positive thinking’ will work unless your words are loaded with positive emotional association so that you evoke the feelings you want whn speaking the words.
  • If you are feeling upset, get quiet as you would with an actual child, and ask what the problem is, reassuring yourself you have done your best and acknowledging the emotions that are there.
  • Whilst the job of the subconscious is to remember everything, it has no sense of time: past, present and future are all one place.
  • It also can’t tell the difference between something that’s actually happened and something that you are strongly imagining: anything that has a feeling is real for the subconscious. 
  • The quality and type of emotion you are attaching to what’s in your mind is what you are ‘asking’ it to bring for you.
  • The subconscious ‘child’ responds fastest to what it can receive through the five senses rather than through the written word (unless the words are laden with emotion). Thus if you want to train your subconscious positively, surround it with your favourite music, fragrances, the aroma of delicious foods, beautiful surroundings and sensual textures to enhance your ideal visualisations.
  • The subconscious is said by Huna teacher Enid Hoffman to be like a vine, with each thought being attached to several others like a bunch of grapes. We know the subconscious works by association, so finding out some of your own associations can give innsight into why specific situations or people or events can trigger particular feelings or emotions.

What matters is to begin to relate to the part of you that works so hard to bring everything you ask for. 

Saying thanks to your ‘self’ is the fastest way to get your inner child to feel good and bring you more of the good stuff, just as it would be with an actual child.

even armed with all the positive affirmations and vision boards you can put together, the subconscious is a sensual creature, responding best and easiest to the five senses:

Use music, pictures,

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